Benny's gone, but his kindness goes on

The below artical was taken out of the Tucson online paper, azstarnet.com : http://www.azstarnet.com/allheadlines/184687

Tucson Region
Remembering a special boy

Benny's gone, but his kindness goes on
By Carla McClain
Arizona Daily Star

Tucson, Arizona Published: 05.25.2007


This time, the family will have to do it without Benny.

And with a hole in their hearts the size of the universe.

Exactly a year ago, Benny Petz — a beautiful, wide-eyed boy only weeks from death — celebrated his fifth and last birthday not with a party and presents for himself, but with a lemonade stand to raise money for stricken children.

And to the delight of that special child, and the utter astonishment of his parents, his lemonade raised $14,000 in just a few hours, which went straight to a national foundation that funds research to conquer childhood cancer.

Something about Benny — described by his still-grief-stricken mother as "the strongest, bravest person I have ever had the pleasure to know" — caught the attention of Tucsonans, who showed up in droves that day to support the final and deepest wish of a short life.

And so on Saturday — in honor of their child and on what would have been his sixth birthday — the Petz family will open the lemonade stand again in Reid Park, to try to raise money to help children whose lives are threatened as his was.

Benny hosted last year's event despite the almost unbearable pain of his last days. He died in his parents' arms a month later, on June 27, beaten by the childhood cancer neuroblastoma, which had stalked him for more than two years.

"I know this is going to be very hard," said his mother, Amy. "We will be there celebrating his birthday, and in reality he should be there, but he won't.

"I'm really nervous, the way I was last year — we want to make it great for him. I'm hoping I'll be so busy tomorrow, I won't be able to focus on missing him. We're just hoping all the people who came last year will come again, and bring friends and neighbors with them."

And this time, the goal is even higher. The national foundation — Alex's Lemonade Stand for Pediatric Cancer Research — was so impressed with Benny's success last year that it's asked the Petz family to set a goal of $25,000 this year.

"I said, 'Wow, that's huge,' " Amy said. "But who am I to say no? We'll surely try. It would be awesome if we could raise that much. But we also know that anything that comes in, whatever amount, will help this effort and will be used well."

The national project now known simply as Alex's Lemonade Stand was launched seven years ago, when a little girl, Alexandra Scott — also suffering neuroblastoma — opened a stand on her front lawn in suburban Philadelphia.

After her death in 2004, lemonade stands carrying her name opened across the country. They have raised more than $10 million to fight all childhood cancers.

Saturday, with help from the foundation, the Tucson event will feature not only the cool lemonade, but also a jumping castle, a big slide, a disc jockey, face-painting and little presents and favors for donors. Volunteers from across Tucson will help decorate, provide refreshments and staff the activities.

The Petz family — mom Amy, father Derek and their four surviving boys — plans to open its stand every year on Memorial Day weekend, the closest weekend to Benny's birthday, May 26.
"We want to do everything we can to keep his memory alive, to make him proud of us," Amy Petz said.

As she has moved through this painful year, and worked toward Benny's fund-raising birthday, Amy has written a journal revealing the agony of trying to deal with the death of a child.
She writes late at night, often after midnight, when the house is quiet, the demands of the day done, when her longing for Benny overwhelms her.

"Benny my love . . . I miss you so completely that my body physically aches," she wrote 10 days ago. "My brain still refuses to fully process that you are gone. . . .

"I want to beg someone to please let me have you back, but there is no one to beg and no way to have you back. I want to sit here and hold your warm little body in my arms and feel your head tucked into my neck . . . I want to hear and feel your breath. I want my baby back."

And she remembers all the wild and crazy things Benny loved — motorcycles, babies, monster trucks, piggies, French toast, his stuffed animal Lamby, all things pink and purple.

"He was full of a balance of love, kindness, thoughtfulness and attitude," she wrote.

Benny's name is now carved into the granite wall at Children's Memorial Park. His inscription reads "Benjamin Tucker Moonman Peanut Petz."

Moonman for his daddy's favorite nickname. And Peanut because he once told Amy, "Mom, I like it when you call me Peanut."